Hacking at packs: trials and tribulations in the life of a pack hack

Des King, Packaging News, 01 February 2008

 

All things considered, it’s a pretty good life writing about packaging.

 

There are days, though, when one half of the equation makes the other challenging to perform with a happy heart. As this diary entry reveals:

 

7.30am (well, okay, say 8.15am) Open fridge to find that re-seal tab on the coffee pouch has unstuck itself overnight and contents have spilled in fridge and on floor and then – via dog – havespread through kitchen. Tamper-evident seal on milk carton pulls away in hand. Resolve opening problem by using Stanley knife, but inadvertently cut index finger on right hand. Resolve bleeding problem by applying plaster from pack in bathroom cabinet.

 

9.00am Am led on inspection tour of numerous stains on stair carpet, landing and bathroom floor. Manage, however, to conceal heavily smeared Elastoplast box from detection.

 

10.30am Rearrange interview for midday due to unanticipated tape recorder difficulties (flat batteries) compounded by inability to extricate replacements from pack quickly enough. The irony of it being a blister manufacturer at the other end of the phone indicates equally unanticipated sense of humour failure.

 

Tip trials

10.35am Take advantage of unscheduled window in agenda to take used cartonboard, PET bottles, HDPE cartons, glass bottles and cans for recycling. What should take 30 minutes extends over two hours, mostly spent in queue to get into the tip, where the local authority has apparently instituted a complex segregated skip-based waste management scheme. Verbally abused by four ‘refuse recycling consultants’ for inadvertently dropping Guinness bottle into the green glass bin.

 

12.40pm Phone blister pack manufacturer. Told by switchboard operator that he has now flown to Mumbai to attend a three-day conference, and won’t be able to return calls until back in the office next Monday. Mention of copy deadline being this Friday fails to elicit workable alternative solution.

 

12.45pm Urgently needed caffeine fix pre-empted by repeat performance of non-re-sealing coffee pouch issues.

 

12.50pm Unfortunate domestic with wife. Take dog for long walk.

 

2.30pm Offer to make bacon sandwiches for late lunch, but reconciliatory gesture marred by second Stanley knife incident of the day. Further manual damage incurred while retrieving Elastoplast from rubbish bin (apparently, not all cans have gone for recycling). On returning from pharmacy spend rest of afternoon tidying desk.

 

6.30pm Seek to restore friendly marital relations over a relaxing glass of Chilean merlot. Cork breaks off in neck of bottle; when pushed in with pencil causes contents to spill on living-room carpet. Helpful suggestion to apply white wine and/or salt summarily rejected.

 

6.45pm Take dog for a seriously long walk. Spend rest of evening re-tidying desk.

 

10.00pm Productivity at last (well, okay, write this column).

 

11.30pm Pump-action fails on toothpaste dispenser (again).

 

11.40pm And so to bed … spare room (again).